


Fade Into You

by when_we_were_invincible



Category: The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Angst, Eventual Smut, F/M, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Self-Harm, Sexual Content, Sexual Tension, Smut, Swearing, Violence, slow burn fuckers
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-08-07
Updated: 2018-03-13
Packaged: 2018-12-12 12:27:58
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 10
Words: 12,860
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11737038
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/when_we_were_invincible/pseuds/when_we_were_invincible
Summary: You are fairly new to Sanctuary and you have yet for the man in the leather jacket to notice you.





	1. Introduction

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first fanfiction ever. Please leave comments about my story. Your thoughts and criticism are welcome. This chapter is just introducing my character and her life pretty much.

It's been about a month since Sanctuary took me in. I'm still adjusting to a few things. For instance, kneeling anytime this guy wearing a leather jacket with a bat comes around. Turns out he is the leader of Sanctuary. His name is Negan. I have been told he has wives to satisfy him. The people I work with are surprised he hasn't asked me to be his wife yet because apparently, I would meet his standards. The only reason he hasn't asked me is that we've never met and I don't think he's even seen me before. When he makes his appearance I do my best to blend in with others and I guess it has worked. I'd rather not be someone's personal whore.

The worst thing about living here is where I work. The janitorial department. It's pretty easy work in all but it just gives you a bad rep. The people who have the good rep are the people like the soldiers. The ones that go out on runs. It's like in high school. The soldiers are the football players and I'm in the math club. But I'm not alone. There are six people working here, including me. I have conversed with them all but two have become my friends.

Ava and Chris. Ava is 27 years old, she is tilting more to the overweight side. Her brunette hair is always up in a loose bun. She arrived here about two months ago. When I asked her why she wasn't one of Negan's wives, her only response was "Look at me." It was only when she wasn't looking at me that I looked at her. Covering her face were multiple pimples and blackheads near her nose. She had bags under her eyes that she covered with her prescribed glasses. When I compared her to Negan's wives, I understood. But I wouldn't say anything, though. I'm not one to judge at least not vocally.

Chris was two years older than Ava. He had short blonde hair that fell over his eyes that he had to constantly sweep away. He was lean and skinny but there was some muscle visible. He had told me he had arrived about a year ago when Sanctuary was still in the works. Chris said Sanctuary has come a long way and Negan is to thank.

Our daily routines were pretty much the same. We were to report to the janitor's office at 7 am each morning. We were notified of a day off only the day before. I usually get Sundays off but it could be any day. When we arrived at the office, there was a whiteboard that had all our names and what our tasks for the day were. If any special tasks were needed, Perry, the lady who works at the Janitor's desk, would tell us personally.

The main two tasks were collecting and replacing the towels in the public bathrooms that had showers included and simply doing the laundry. Since we didn't have the luxury of washing machines and dryers we had to do it old school. I didn't mind but when I had another option, I would gladly take it. Monday mornings were different. We were expected in Perry's office at 4 am. Monday mornings were for mopping the floors. We had to do all the hallways except the kitchen and mess hall. That was the kitchen's job, thankfully. Next to our names was the floor level we each had to mop. Perry was nice enough to let us trade floors with each other as long as it got done. So anytime I got the fifth floor, I traded. The fifth floor was home to Negan, surprisingly his wives got the floor underneath his. I try to avoid that one as well. 

On my days off I usually relax in my room. Chris has worked his way up and was granted a room unlike most here who sleep in the mess hall. I managed to persuade him to let me live with him. We alternate sleeping on the bed and couch. Only Ava knows about it because people aren't supposed to share rooms with each other unless granted by Negan. And the fact that he doesn't know about me, explains why no one knows.

Chris, Ava, I and a few others sat around a table in the cafeteria, eating dinner. Tonight's meal was spaghetti. We had this once week, even though spaghetti isn't my favorite, I've gotten used to it. In Sanctuary, if you choose not to eat, you'll starve. The loud chatter in the cafeteria quickly faded away. I looked up to the entrance. And saw none other than Negan. Everyone quickly got off from their seats and kneeled. 

He savored these moments. When everyone was in his complete control. 

"As you were." Every one rejoined their seats and continued their conversations. His leather jacket was zipped halfway up, showing his white shirt underneath. He slung Lucille over his right shoulder as he observed everyone. On his left was Dwight, and on his right was Simon. Negan turned to each of them and muttered something. They both left his side and walked over to the kitchen. 

I kept my head down as I ate my dinner. I hoped he would leave as soon as possible but I was far from right. I glanced up towards him to see what he was doing and he walking right towards my table. For some stupid reason, I didn't put my head down instead I stared right at him. 

He reached our table and focused on Chris. Completely unaware of the others at the table. 

"Chris is it?" 

Chris straightened his posture and looked up to Negan. 

"Yes, sir."

A slight smirk appeared on Negan's face. "Well I heard you mopped my floor, you did a damn good job." He nearly shouted as he accentuated the word damn.

Chris smiled and took the compliment to heart. "Thank you, sir." 

I slowly pulled my head up even more than it already was. I was seated across from next to Ava, looking at Negan. Negan roughly patted Chris on the back before he turned in my direction. His eyes met mine and my heart started to beat fast as if it was going to beat out of my chest at any moment. 

His eyebrows furrowed together trying to place me but he couldn't. 

With every accentuated word he spoke towards me, my heart beat quickened. 

"Now who are you?"


	2. Towel Fetcher

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I honestly don't know exactly what the interior is of Sanctuary so I'm kinda making it up. If you want me to add something that should be there or I should change something, please let me know.

"Trick question."

"Excuse me?" Negan scoffed, I was playing a dangerous game. 

"Either you want me to say my real name or say Negan."  
His face softened and he let a small laugh escape his lips. 

"First one." 

"Azrael." 

Negan nodded in approval. "And second?"

My eyes shifted quickly to Chris, he was white as a ghost. His eyes gave me no comfort. I looked back at Negan, to once again meet his brown eyes. 

"Negan."

His lips formed into a smile as he adjusted Lucille on his shoulder.  
"Where do you work?"

"The janitorial department."  
"With Chris?"  
I nodded, I was beginning to feel sick. Why? God only knows. 

"Okay." And with that, he turned around and left the mess hall. The anxiety in the room suddenly vanished, from everyone. Yet it still lingered for me. 

"Woah," Chris muttered as he looked at me.  
"That has been the closest I've ever been to him," Ava commented. 

I took a sip of my water trying to ease myself. "I think I'm going to turn in for the night." 

I said my goodbyes and placed my dish in the bucket near the kitchen. I headed to the third floor where Chris's room was. Tonight was my turn to sleep in the bed, and I was glad for it. Despite my anxiety, that overwhelmed me, I managed to fall asleep rather quickly.

* * *

 

"Azrael." A hand was gently shaking my shoulder. 

"Okay," I mumbled. I heard the room door open and then shut. It was Chris waking me up for work. I glanced over at the clock and it read 6:40. We had this thing going on that whoever woke first, was to wake the other up. Usually, it was Chris, but there were a few days where I managed to wake up earlier. I got up from my bed and opened my dresser.

Two dressers were in the room, one mine and the other Chris's. Just about everything we had, we had two of. I decided on wearing my favorite blue skinny jeans and just a plain white tank top. With all the points I had been racking up, I managed to gather some pretty decent clothes. Most, however, I had before I came to Sanctuary. I pulled my dark brown hair into a ponytail, completely disregarding the few strands that had fallen from my grip. I sat on the edge of the bed and grabbed my converse. Small holes were visible at the top. 

_I need new shoes_ , I thought. _I'll make sure to get some after work_. 

Before leaving the room, I brushed my teeth and made one last look in the mirror.  
_Acceptable_ , I thought. 

I walked down to the lower floor and into the Janitor's office. Ava was getting the mop from the closet and Chris was with a couple other guys sorting through soaps that we use to wash the clothes and towels. I walked to the white board and looked next to my name. My eyes went wide and mouth went slightly agape. 

**Bring/collect towels-5th floor**. There were two rooms on the fifth floor. Simon's and Negan's. "Perry?" My eyes didn't leave the white board. 

"Yes, hun?"

"Why do I have the fifth floor?" 

"Well I would've assigned you elsewhere but Negan requested you, and I am not one to disobey him."

Of course, he fucking did. 

I inhaled a deep breath, composing myself. Without another word, I left the room and grudgingly headed to the fifth floor. As I took my last step up the stairs, a fairly lit hallway came to view. On both sides of the hallway was one door. There was a door at the end, with Simon standing before it. He noticed my presence.  
Simon took a step forward. "Mine's on the left, I'll let you guess where Negan's is." He chuckled at his own joke.

I made my way into Simon's room where I went straight to the bathroom without looking elsewhere. I gathered his two towels and quickly exited his room. I wanted to get out of here as soon as possible. 

I walked over to Simon where he knocked on the door and announced my presence. 

"Hey boss, your towel fetcher is here." I mentally rolled my eyes at him.

Simon stepped aside and allowed me to enter. I grasped the doorknob and entered Negan's room.


	3. The Bed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is Azrael's first time being in Negan's room, but there is something in particular that she takes notice of more than anything.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am describing his room as seen in episode 7 of season 7, "Sing Me A Song". And I'm also making up his room for the most part. Where I placed the kitchen in his room doesn't seem like it would fit, because it wouldn't so, in this story his room is bigger than seen on tv.

 

* * *

As I entered his room, a small burst of cool air blasted into my face. My eyes immediately went to his bed. A king size with gray satin sheets, with tall black bedposts and a black headboard. For split second, all I could imagine doing was crawling under the covers and falling asleep. On the left side of the bed was a door, presumably to his own bathroom. In front of his bed was a tv on a black dresser. Along the wall to the right of the tv were gray counters and a 2 door fridge. Next to the fridge was an open bookcase filled with various knick knacks. In front of the bookcase was a black leather loveseat, facing the love seat were two armchairs.  A glass coffee table was placed in between the loveseat and armchairs.

Sitting in the armchair on the right was Negan. His red scarf was laid neatly on the coffee table, while Lucille rested on the chair next to him.

He peered over his shoulder to look at me. "Hey, towel fetcher." His signature smirk made an appearance, while just like I did to Simon, I mentally rolled my eyes. He gestured to the love seat for me to sit.

I walked over to the couch and sat down with the dirty towels on my lap.

"I'm a little confused."

"Whys that?"

"Well someone that looks like you," he paused to look me up down. "I would've noticed. So why didn't I?" He showed no emotion as he stared me down, waiting for an answer.

"Maybe you need glasses."

He scoffed at my comment. "You need to watch yourself doll." His eyes looked at mine, mentally warning me. His eyes had a dangerous look to them so I decided it was in my best interest to not be a smart ass. I let my head hang down and I stared at the dirty towels. "Sorry, sir." I felt a hand lightly grasp my chin and forced me to look up. Negan's surprisingly soft hands slightly tightened their grip on my chin. "When you speak to me," he sneaked a glance down at my lips before returning his gaze to my eyes. "You look at me." I nodded in response. He suddenly let go of my chin and laid back in his chair. "Good."

 "Alright," he started, "go make yourself useful and go to my bathroom and get the towels." I was taken aback by his sudden rudeness but I shook it off and walked over to the other door in the room that I hoped was his bathroom. As I passed his bed, I took a quick look at it. My thoughts went to his wives and I imagined how many girls he has had in his bed. 

I opened the door to his bathroom and quickly found the laundry baskets. He had two sitting next to each other. One was full of towels and the other was full of clothes. My focus lingered at his clothes before collecting the towels.

Again, as I walked passed his bed, I stole a glance at it. I reverted my eyes back in front of me, where I stopped just in front of the coffee table. 

"Am I done in here?"

"You tell me." Negan tilted his head to meet my eyes. 

I furrowed my eyebrows, confused at his reply. 

"What do you mean?" 

A soft chuckle escaped his lips. "The amount of times you've looked at my bed gives me a feeling you don't want to leave." 

My eyes widened and I could feel my face heat up. I quickly looked away in hopes he didn't see me blush. 

I swear, even without looking at him, I could feel the stupid smirk on his face. 

"You're dismissed." With that, I took my cue to leave the room. Simon had left, so it was just me alone in the hallway. I rested my back on Negan's door. I took a deep breath and walked my way back down to the janitor's room. 

* * *

The rest of the day was easy going. I washed Negan and Simon's towels and on my way up the bring them back, I ran into Simon on the third floor. I was lucky enough to have him take the towels and take them up himself. Taking the towels back was my last task of the day so after Simon took them away, I headed to the kitchen to get a snack before going to Chris's room. When I got inside, he was sleeping on the couch with a book in his hand. I decided since he already was on the couch, I would take the bed again tonight. I crawled under the covers and closed my eyes with Negan's words still etched into my mind. 

_The amount of times you've looked at my bed gives me a feeling you don't want to leave._

 


	4. Scars

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Suicidal warnings*  
> In all honesty, I hate putting warnings because it spoils what's gonna happen but I still need to.

"Alright Perry, I'm done for today."

I had exited the office before I could hear her reply. I was ready to just lay down and rest. Negan and I hadn't made any interactions in the past week since our last encounter. Throughout the week I had only seen him twice, both in the mess hall. Chris was promoted to go on supply runs so I rarely saw him. Anytime I did, he was in his room either occupying the bed or couch, sleeping. Ava and I are still close, and I'm glad for that, being she is my only friend. 

I walked over to where she sat in the mess hall, she had papers scattered before her. I sat down across from her, she was completely oblivious to my presence until I spoke. 

"Ava."

She abruptly looked up from her work, distraught on her face. "Oh hey, Azrael." She didn't spend too long on me before returning to her work.

'What are you working on?" I attempted to peek at the papers but I couldn't make anything out. I wasn't the best at reading upside down.

"Stuff for Negan," she muttered.

'Wait, what?"

Ava let out a sigh as she stacked the papers together.

"The other day, Negan came to my room and asked me to do some work for him, I can't say what it is though."

A feeling of jealousy slowly boiled in my stomach, but I didn't show it. "He came to your room?"

Ava nodded, her face started to turn pink. She ducked her head down, but I had already noticed.

"Why are you blushing?"

"Well," she started. "He kept on flirting with me."

The jealousy started to boil it's way up. I was mad at myself for being jealous. I shouldn't be.

"Oh."

Ava stood up and collected the papers.

"Where are you going," I asked.

'To Negan." With that, she left the mess hall, with me by myself.  

After a few minutes of staring off into space, I noticed three guys walk over to me. All looked like supply runners. They were all well built and their faces showed they were tough. 

"Hey." The tallest one spoke to me.

"Um hi," I replied hesitantly. 

"You're Negan's newest slut aren't you?"  

I didn't reply. I let my head hang as I eyed my hands that were resting on my thighs.

A different guy spoke.  

"Ah, don't be shy girl. Just by looking at you, you seem like the type of girl who would jump at _that_ opportunity." 

I stayed in the same position, calming my breath. Before the world went to hell, I went through this exact shit. Memories started to flood through me, the first moment I was called a slut all the way to now. It all just came to me, all at once. I could feel my eyes start to water. 

The first guy spoke again. "Yeah, I bet you're pretty loose. Maybe I should check just to be sure." They all laughed as I felt one tear slide down my cheek. I quickly stood up without looking at them as I headed to the nearest bathroom. 

* * *

The bathroom was a public one, located on the first floor. It had five bathroom stalls with sinks in one room. In the other room were showers with lockers lined up against the walls. I burst into the bathroom, glad to find no one there. I walked over to the closet in the first room where it held feminine hygiene products, razors, cream, all that bathrooms entailed. 

I searched the closet and spotted a razor. I took one of the cheap ones and quickly disassembled it. I took kept one of the razors in my hand as I garbaged the rest. I pocketed the razor before exiting the bathroom and making my way to Chris's room. 

He wasn't there, probably on yet another supply run. I sat on the edge of the bed and took out the razor. Their comments filled my head. My eyes started to water, I looked down at my wrist with blurred eyes. I took the blade and sliced with a trembling hand. The blood leaked out with every cut. 

After a few minutes of cutting, I abruptly stopped. I couldn't stop crying. It was a silent cry. One no one could hear. I wiped my tears away and ditched the razor in the garbage. I ran my wrist under the cold water as a release before bandaging it up. I crawled into the bed and fell into a restless sleep. 

 


	5. Caught

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, yes. I know it has been awhile but here you go.

I woke up the alarm blasting on the nearby nightstand. I flipped over and turned off. 6:45. Today was a Friday, no work for me today. I laid in bed for what seemed forever just lost in thought as I stared up at the ceiling. My thoughts flashed back over to last night and I brushed my fingers up against my bandaged wrist. I pushed away the thoughts, got dressed, and made my way down to the mess hall. Oatmeal was being served for breakfast this morning.

I glanced around the room and noticed Ava sitting near the back, alone. Grabbing the small bowl of oatmeal, I walked over to Ava and took a seat across from her.

"Hey Azrael," she said rather cheerfully.

"Uh, hey." Usually, she's not a very cheerful person. Something must have happened.

"How's it going?" A smile formed on her face as she awaited my reply.

"Pretty good, you?"

"Never better."

"Yeah, why's that?" Her unusual happiness was driving my curiosity and I just needed to know what happened. She looked down at her oatmeal, her face began to turn pink. "Oh, nothing."

"Bullshit." She glanced up at me, pretending to be shocked. We both laughed as I took another bite of the stale oatmeal.

I glanced up at Ava and noticed something hiding behind her hair. It looked almost like a bruise, but I studied it closer.

Is that... "Is that hickey?" My eyes were wide and my thoughts immediately went to thinking who gave it to her. I couldn't place a face of anyone she has been hanging around lately. For some reason, I didn't let myself think of _him_.

"Oh," she attempted to cover it. She looked at my face as I displayed a "dude, really?" face. "Yes, it is," she sighed.

"Let me see it all." She brushed her hair out of the way. There was one big hickey, with small little ones surrounding it. 

"Who gave it to you and you better tell me," I looked directly into her eyes. 

"Well, um, Negan." A part of knew it was him but I didn't want it to be true. 

I did not express my jealousy and instead, I asked what happened. And to my surprise, she told me _exactly_  what happened. 

"Alright," she began," It happened after I left you here yesterday, remember?" 

"You have no idea," I gritted between my teeth. She was oblivious to my annoyance and continued with her story. 

"Well when I got there, we talked about something-"

"What," I cut her off. 

"Something I cant tell you. Let me finish." I raised my hands as to say I'll back off. 

"Anyways after that, he stood up, we were both sitting on the love seat, and he got a bottle of wine." 

I listened but my focus was more on telling my jealousy to fuck off, and boy was that a struggle. 

"So we were drinking and you know, he started to flirt. At first, I was kind of quiet but then I started flirting with him back." 

"Uh huh," I murmured.

"Then he moved closer to me and like cupped my face with his hand and he leaned in to kiss me. And we had this intense makeout session. Thus the hickeys."

"Oh, that's kind of weird, don't you think?"

She took a bite of her oatmeal,"What do you mean?" 

"I mean like why did he kiss you like he's got a million wives, does he really need another?" 

"Maybe they don't give him what I could," she winked at me as she went to throw her bowl away. 

I let out a dry laugh. 

_No, no, no, no. You are not jealous, no reason to be. Right?_

 

* * *

 

I was aimlessly walking around the second floor, staring down at my shoes. The day grew hotter, even inside, so I was resorted to change to a tank top. As I was turning a corner I bumped into something hard. 

"Well damn doll, if you wanted to get that close all you had to do was ask." That voice. That fucking voice. 

I abruptly looked up at him and apologized. 

He shook his head,"It's okay doll." He adjusted Lucille on his shoulder. 

I started to walk past him when he roughly wrapped his hand around my bicep causing me to freeze in my place. 

He stared ahead and asked me the question I was dreading. 

"What is that?"

I looked up to him, his eyes still fixated in front of him. "What's what," I asked dumbly. 

He peered down to meet my eyes. "Don't bullshit me, girl." 

"It's nothing."

"Did you not just hear me?" He tightened his grip. "Don't bullshit me." 

I just stared up at him. All reasonable excuses were completely non-existent in my brain. I just stared at him, not saying a goddamn thing. 

He let out a sigh and let go of my arm. "Follow me." He turned around and headed to where he came from.

"Where are we going," I asked, trying to keep up with him. 

"My room." 

 


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, it has been a very long time, I am fully aware. I am also very sorry for the long delay. If you have any ideas or a part you want to be put into the story, put it in the comments below. Enjoy!  
> Also, I am thinking about adding some people in the story, like in Rick's group. I don't know if I will though.

I was sitting on the loveseat in Negan's room. The thought of Ava and Negan making out, here, made me more anxious then I was. And that was not helping the situation. His room was clean and his bed was neatly made. With wearing a tank top and being in his cold room, I started to get goosebumps. 

"Do you have ac in here or something?" I turned my head to Negan who was standing at the edge of his bed, taking off his leather jacket. He tossed it on his bed and walked to his fridge. 

"Of course, doll. Why wouldn't I?" I could hear him faintly chuckle as he lifted the pitcher of water and poured it into two glasses. His bicep muscles slightly twitched as he did so and I couldn't take away my gaze. Negan's tight white shirt snugged his body and outlined what every girl wanted to see. 

Negan cleared his throat. My gaze moved up his body to meet his eyes. He was standing there, facing me, with the two glasses in each hand and a devilish grin on his face. 

"Jesus, girl. What are you thirsty for?"

Confused at his comment, I burrowed my eyebrows together. "What do you mean?" He walked over to the armchair and sat across from me, handing me the glass of water. 

I graciously took it and took a sip. 

"You either were thirsty for the water or something else you were looking at."

Of course, I decided to play it dumb. "What else was I looking at?" I stared into his eyes, awaiting the "Don't bullshit me" response. But instead, I got something entirely different. 

"You are looking at it." 

My eyes slightly widened at his unexcepted comment. But damn, he wasn't wrong. A small smirk spread across his face when I didn't respond. 

"Give me your hand." I was confused as to what he was talking about. Then it hit me, my bandages that were covering my scars. I slowly began to lift my right wrist when I looked into his eyes. He gave me a warning look, knowing damn well he wasn't talking about my right hand. I sighed and lifted my left hand. He gently grabbed it. 

He slowly started to undo the bandages, I tensed up when he got close to taking off the last piece. He had noticed and glanced up to meet my eyes. His face was different than usual. It was softer, it almost looked like he was sorry. 

Negan, sorry? Trust me, I didn't believe it either. 

He returned his gaze to my wrist and gently undid the last piece. 

The horizontal cuts were still fresh, the reddening had died down a bit. I looked up to Negan to see his reaction. He let go of my wrist and looked at me. 

"This," he gestured to my wrists, "gives Sanctuary, my community, a bad rep. Outsiders will think it's unbearable and I do not want that. Understand?" 

I nodded. Just when I thought he was about to get all lovey-dovey on me, he goes ahead and thinks about himself. 

He leaned back in his chair and folded his hands. "What can I do to not let this happen again?"

 _Stop being such a dick so your stupid little Saviours won't follow in your footsteps._ No, too mean.

I thought back to when I was in the outside world, always in danger. It's the thrill I miss. The feeling that I could die at any given time, sparked adrenaline within me. That's what kept me going so long. 

"I want to go on a supply run." 

"No."

I wasn't going to take no for an answer."'Fine." I stood up from the love seat and began walking to the door. I heard movement behind me, "Where do you think you are going?"

I turned around to see Negan standing only three feet in front of me. He had a calm expression, that I believed wasn't going to last for long. 

"Back to my room, seeing as you are not letting me go on a run for who fucking knows why not." Negan's eye twitched as I spoke to him in a vulgar vocabulary. He probably wasn't used to it and if anybody did he would burn their face with an iron. But something made me think he wouldn't do that. 

 "Watch your mouth doll." 

"Or what?" I barely knew Negan and I was already tired of his shit, I wasn't backing down. 

His face stayed calm and he showed no anger. He took one step forward, closing more of the space between us, so now we were only two feet apart. "Or you might spend a night or two in the cells."

I stared him dead in the eyes and said, "Tough shit." I can handle that, compared to the outside, that's heaven. 

A smirk spread across his face amused that me, a tiny girl, stood up to the badass that led the Saviors. "You got balls girl."

"Yeah, bigger than yours." His smirk went away and his eyebrows furrowed. He was now officially pissed. 

He began walking towards me, his dominant walk made me back up until I hit something. The door. He placed his left hand on the door next to me, leaning on it. 

"Remember when I told you to watch your mouth." 

 _Nope, couldn't hear it over the patheticness that is called you._ Unforntualy, my courage had disappeared and I could only nod. 

He leaned his head in front of me, his cool breath hit my lips everytime he breathed. His brown eyes pierced through mine, it was as if he was sucking up all my courage so I wouldn't disrespect him again. And well, he did just that. 

"I think you and me-" Someone knocked on the door, interrupting Negan. Not moving, except for rolling his eyes in frustration, asked, "Who is it?"

"Simon." Ah yes, the asshole's asshole. 

Negan stood back up and motioned me to get out of the way. I made my way to Negan's side and waited for Simon to enter. 

"Come in." The door opened and in came Simon. The hair he had left was all over the place, making him look like a mad scientist. He was dressed in his usual green button up shirt with cargo pants.*

"We got a little problem with one of our suppliers."

'Which one?"

"Alexandria."

"Figures, we will go take a visit tomorrow. Round up a group of men and women and have them be ready at 7."

"Yes, sir." Simon nodded and turned around and left. I turned to Negan.

"Can I come?"

Negan glanced at me and said, "Absolutely not." He walked over to his bed and picked up his leather jacket and put it on. 

"Why not?" 

"Because I said so."

"Please, Negan. Just this one time."

He was now dressed in his leather jacket with Lucille resting on his left shoulder. 

"I'll think about it." 

That was good enough for me, I followed Negan outside of his room and we went off on our separate ways. 


	7. An Affair of Sorts

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I haven't been here in awhile. Is there still the hype for Negan? lol. I haven't seen any of season 8, oops.

Around 8 AM the truck came to a stop. I had managed to sneak onto one of three trucks that waited outside of Sanctuary this morning. Two of the trucks were army trucks and filled with Saviors. The other truck was a simple black pick up, more than likely occupied by Negan and Simon, perhaps Dwight. A hit on the truck brought me out of my thoughts and I followed the Saviors that were now piling out of the truck. Each and every single one of them had a gun. Whether it be an automatic rifle or a pistol, they were all armed. Our truck was behind the other two so we made our way to the front where everyone else gathered. I tucked myself in the middle of the saviors. I did not want to be spotted by Negan, or Simon, but I wanted to be close enough to see what was happening. 

Negan paced back and forth, with that fucking bat on his shoulder. Behind him stood Simon. The gate ahead rattled and eventually opened, revealing the occupants of Alexandria. 

A man stood in front looking at Negan. His hand rested on his pistol. 

"Rick!" 

"What do you want," Rick replied. 

"What do I want?" Negan scratched his stubble, acting as if he was really thinking about what he wanted. But I believed he already knew. 

"I want," Negan continued," my order." 

Rick glanced at all the Saviors, mentally noting they were all armed. "We-" he stopped, taking in a breath. "We didn't even have enough for ourselves." 

"Oh no! Poor Rick!" Negan once again began pacing back and forth. "Poor Carl, Poor Daryl, Poor Maggie, Poor Michonne." As the last words came out of Negan's mouth, I noticed Rick tightening his grip on his pistol which only, in response, made Negan laugh. 

"You know what happens when you don't deliver, we either kill or take one of yours." 

The occupants of Alexandria tensed up their bodies, all of their eyes seemed to be on Lucille. 

_He must have killed one of theirs already._

"But," Negan half-shouted," I had a good night last night with one of my lady friends-" He glanced at the group of Saviors and winked, they all laughed in response. I stepped closer to the back of the group, not wanting to get noticed. 

"-So I am in a pretty good fucking mood. So, we won't kill or take anyone. Instead, we will just raid your little village. Sound good?" 

I wasn't able to hear Rick's response because I was pulled back from the crowd. I turned to look at the man who had a deathly grip on my wrist and was ready to yell up a storm before I realized who it was. 

"Hey pretty." It was Simon. 

I yanked my wrist from him," What do you want?"

"You aren't supposed to be here." 

"Negan said I could come." 

He chuckled quietly before gripping my wrist once again and leading me to the truck all the way in the back. "Yeah right." 

Once we got to the back of the truck, I expected him to let me go, but instead, he pushed me up against the truck, trapping me between his two muscular arms. 

"Wha- What are you doing?" I mentally rolled my eyes at myself, I never liked stuttering. 

"Nothing," he whispered. A creepy smile crept across his face and he slowly lowered his head closer to me. I looked away and closed my eyes, completely terrified what the next events were going to be. 

"Look at me." 

I didn't move but I was forced to when he placed his hand on my chin and turned my head. "Open your eyes." 

I did and I saw that his smile was gone. He had an expressionless face. He leaned and slowly met his lips with mine. My eyes went wide and I didn't kiss back. I was completely frozen. 

He moved backed and smirked. "You know, a kiss is when two people press together their lips, not one." 

"Uh- thanks for the lesson but I should go now."

"Nope." He moved his hand to my waist and pressed me back to the truck. Once more he leaned in and stopped just an inch or two away from my face. 

"Go on," he whispered. 

 _What have I got to lose? Absolutely nothing._  

I leaned my head forward and met his lips. This time I actually kissed him back and was surprised at how soft his lips were. The kiss began slow, he pressed his tongue gently on my lips, asking permission. I gave it to him and soon we were sweating as we were pressing up against one another. I could feel myself getting wetter between my legs, I wanted more. Right now. 

I began tugging at his belt but he stopped me. 

"No," he breathed out. "Not right now." 

"When then?" I was desperate for him, but I was desperate for sex in general, it had been months, maybe even a year. 

He smirked. "Desperate are we?" 

I felt my face heat up but I quickly shook it off. "Maybe."

"Come to my room tonight around 11, okay?"

I nodded. 

He peered around the truck. 

"I got to go, stay in the truck until we get back to Alexandria." 

"Alright." 

Simon kissed me so passionately that my knees almost buckled. "See you later tonight." 

He then walked away and left me there, breathing hard as I leaned against the truck for support, still feeling the heat between my legs. 

 

 


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How did you guys like the little moment with Simon? Let me know if you want me to continue more with that. And don't worry this is still majorly a Negan/reader fanfiction. I changed the reader's name to "Addilyn" because I didn't like what it was before. I am very proud of this chapter and I hope you guys like it!

_Can we just take a second to appreciate Steven fucking Ogg?_

_Thanks._

_And also here are a couple pictures of a shirtless Steven Ogg, you're welcome._

__

* * *

 

As the truck rumbled to life and headed towards Sanctuary, I thought back to the moment with Simon. 

 _I ran my finger over my bottom lip, remembering the small nibbles Simon had given me. The force he had on my hip as he devoured me, still lingered._ I felt heat rise between my legs and I hesitantly pushed away the thoughts. 

An hour and a half later, I was busy cleaning the sinks in the women's public bathroom on the second floor. I heard the door open but I paid no attention to it. After scrubbing the last of the grime, I wrung out the sponge. 

"Hey." I turned around and saw Ava standing there with a smile on her face. 

"Hey, you." I took off my gloves and rested them on the sink. "What's up?" 

"Well I actually have to pee but since I saw you, uh, I just wanted to say hi." 

"Oh." I smiled, "Hey."

She let out a small laugh and entered one of the stalls. I heard her take her pants off and take a seat. "So where were you this morning, I didn't catch you at breakfast."  

"Oh." I couldn't tell her where I went because how much she has been with Negan. Who knows, she could spill it. "I-I- I was taking a walk." I let my shoulders sunk and I rolled my eyes, _I am such a bad lier._

"Oh, nice. How was it?" 

"Refreshing." I grabbed the gloves and dirty sponge and threw them in the bucket. Ava came out of the stall and began to wash her hands. 

"So you know Simon? Negan's right-hand man?" I felt my heart start to race at the mention of his name. 

"Um, yeah. Why?"

"Well," she said as she dried her hands with a paper towel. "I saw him come in the mess hall after coming back from a supply run or something and he looked very sweaty." 

She wiggled her eyebrows. 

"Okay," I was not excited about where this was going. 

"He looked very steamy, I think I might try to get with him." 

I couldn't hold it any longer. I have had enough of her taking what I want. First, it was Negan, but truthfully, I never admitted to wanting him, but we had our moments. And then Simon, who I know I wanted. 

"No."

She looked at me, confused. Ava pushed up her glasses and rested on the sink. "What are you talking about?" 

"You can't have Simon." 

Her eyebrows furrowed, "Why not? I mean I got Negan, I don't think it will be that hard to get him."

"You can't have him because I want him."

Her mouth slightly hung open. "Wha- What are you serious? Like, what are you saying?" 

"I am saying, I want Simon!" My voice had risen and I immediately regretted it, I didn't mean to get this mad. Ava leaned back as if she was scared of me. 

"Excuse me." A voice had come from the entrance. We both turned our heads to see who spoke. 

My breath hitched and I felt myself turn red. My heart pounded at my chest, trying to escape. _Fuck._

 "Oh," Ava said quietly. "Hi, Simon." 

 There stood Simon with his eyebrows slightly raised. He had on the same outfit as he did this morning. A light green button-up shirt and grey cargo pants. I heard Ava ramble on to Simon, but he paid her no attention. His eyes were on me, the whole time. I stood with my face still full of embarrassment, staring right back at him, completely disregarding Ava. 

Suddenly Simon put his hand up to Ava and she immediately stopped talking. With his eyes still locked on mine, he motioned me to follow. "Come."

"But I need to clean up." Simon glanced at Ava and I saw her body tense up. 

"She can do it, now come." I looked at Ava and she slowly nodded. Simon began walking out and I followed. 

I followed him in silence as we walked through the hallways and eventually up the stairs, to the top floor. Where Simon's room was but also Negan's. As we made it to the top floor, my eyes immediately gazed upon Negan's door. Simon turned to the door on the left and opened it, I followed. Inside was a room almost as big as Negan's. He had his own kitchen and what I assumed his own bathroom. In the corner or the room was a queen bed, the same as Negan's. His sheets were white and he had one big white blanket on top. 

I closed the door and just stood there watching Simon. 

Simon opened his fridge and pulled out a beer. He took the cap off and took a swig as he leaned on his counter looking at me. "You want me?"

"Yes," I said without hesitation, which in truth surprised me. 

"Well," he opened his arms. "I am right here." 

_Is this my invitation to go over to him and stick my tongue down his throat?_

_I think so._

I walked over to him but stopped when we were a foot away. Simon looked down at me, his eyes slowly moved down my body then back up. He took another swig of his beer and placed it on the counter. "Come here." He wrapped both his arms around me and pulled me into and met his lips with mine. Once more, I felt his soft lips dance with my own. My hands began to roam his body. As I grazed over his upper body, I felt his muscular chest and his heartbeat. It was beating as fast as mine, maybe even faster. I gripped his shoulders and pulled him ever closer. 

He ran his hands over my thighs and gracefully picked me up and walked me over to his bed. He laid me gently down, without breaking our kiss, and began to take off his shirt. He pulled it off and broke the kiss to take off mine. As I pulled my shirt over my body, revealing me just in a bra, I noticed how ripped Simon was. His muscles on his upper body shifted as he leaned down to suck on my neck. I tilted my head giving him more access. I felt him nibble on my neck, provoking a moan to come out of me. 

"You like that babe?"

_Oh god, the way he said babe. Sweet jesus._

"Yes- yes I do," I moaned as he once again started sucking on my neck. 

"Am I interrupting something?"  

Simon pulled his head away from me and looked towards the door. A smirk spread across his face. 

I furrowed my eyebrows and looked in his direction. 

"Anybody gonna answer?" 

Negan stood in the doorway holding that godawful bat with him. 

Simon moved away from me and sat on the end of the bed. I scooched and leaned against the headboard pulling the sheets above my chest. 

"Uh yes, you were," said Simon. 

A chuckle came from Negan's mouth and his gaze went to me. "Doll, wanna get some clothes on and meet me in my office?" 

"Yes, Negan."

Negan smiled in response and started to leave. He stopped just before he closed the door. "Simon, you too." He closed the door and I heard him walk away with the scratching of Lucille behind him. 

 "Get your clothes on, we can finish another time," Simon said as he began buttoning up his shirt, covering his ripped body. 

Once we were both dressed we headed next door, to Negan's room.

Simon knocked twice. "We're here."

"Come in," I heard Negan say. 

We walked in and he had his back to us, pouring, what looked like whiskey, into a glass. 

Simon and I just stood there waiting for Negan to talk. 

Negan turned around and rested on the counter, taking a sip of the drink he laid his gaze on us. 

"So," he began. "In two days we are running two major runs. One led by yours truly and the other, you." He lifted his drink towards Simon.

"My original plan was for Addilyn to go with you but after recent events, she will be with me. I don't want you distracted Simon." 

"Understandable sir." Simon nodded. 

"Good," Negan said. He took another sip and continued. "Simon, you are excused, but you stay." 

Simon turned around and headed out of the door, leaving Negan and me in silence. 

"The runs are going to last about a week at the most so make sure you have what you need." 

"Okay." 

Wow, one week with Negan. This will be a blast. 

Negan set down his glass and picked up his leather jacket off his bed and put it on. His muscles twitched as they did so, and I couldn't help but look. 

"Got a thing for older men do you?" 

I tore my eyes off his body and looked up at his face.   
"What?"

"Well doll, you about near fucked Simon and I see the way you're looking at me." 

"I don't know what you're talking about," I replied.

Negan laughed and walked over to me, stopping just close enough where I could smell his cologne radiating off of him. 

"Oh, I think you do. I have things to do but of course, if you need to satisfy your needs, we can do a quickie." Negan winked at me. 

I felt my cheeks get red, making Negan laugh. 

"I think I'm okay."

"Suit yourself." Negan opened the door and let me out first. He straightened his jacket and glanced over at me.

"See ya doll." And with that Negan walked down the hallway and disappeared while whistling an unpleasant tune. 


	9. Faded

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoy!  
> And I am also thinking of doing a Simon x reader, but it wouldn't be a full-fledged story like this one, just a few chapters. So comment if you would like that!

Even though Simon isn't in this chapter, I still wanted to show you how hot he is. :)

But since Negan is in this chapter, let us take a look at this guy I call daddy ;)

* * *

 

The two days went by fast and the next thing I knew, I was sitting on the passenger side of Negan's truck, driving on the road. Negan placed Lucille in between us, which I was thankful for. I didn't want Negan getting handsy because I had a tendency to fall asleep on car rides. We were headed in the opposite direction from the direction we went to Alexandria. We had been on the road for about three or so hours, the sun began to descend behind us, and we entered the dead of night. Literally.

We drove through several herds of walkers, making blood splatter on the windows of the truck. I glanced in the side mirror and saw the army truck following closely behind.

Negan came to a stop and gazed in front of us. I would say there were about a dozen walkers just waiting to kill or be killed.

"Stay here," Negan muttered as he gripped Lucille and hopped out the truck. A couple Saviors came out from the truck and followed Negan as he began beating in the brains of the dead.

He was good at surviving, that's for sure. He didn't have any close calls nor did he need any aid. He took the majority of the walkers, while the Saviors took the ones on the outskirts. Once cleared, the Saviors headed back for the truck. Negan got in, placing the blood covered bat between us. The smell of the dead made it to my nose and I couldn't help but gag.

"Roll the window down, doll." I did as he said and that helped as long as I kept my face in the direction of the window.

We drove for another twenty minutes before Negan called it quits for the night.

We found shelter in a small 24/7. Each of us all had our own sleeping bag and our own pillow. Even Negan had the same things as us, royalty wasn't on the road for him.

We all laid our sleeping bags down, in a circle. Negan, of course, laid his sleeping bag right next to mine. I rolled my eyes as he laid Lucille gently in between us.

In the middle of the circle, one of the Saviors put down a small lantern and turned it on the lowest setting. It was dim enough to not have it interfere with trying sleep but bright enough to see the outline of everybody.

I laid down and snuggled into the sleeping bag. I heard the mutter of the guards from outside. Negan placed two guards in the front and he made one climb to the roof and be the lookout.

I turned on my side facing the light, but it was too bright for me, so I turned on my other side facing Negan.

Thankfully, he cleaned his bat but the smell of blood still faintly lingered.

"Addy," I heard Negan whisper so I could only hear him.

Addy? No one has ever called me that before, I kinda like it.

"Yes?"

"Too bad Lucille is in the way."

I rolled my eyes at him and I saw the outline of his body shift so he was facing me.

"I'm not complaining."

"Harsh," he scoffed.

I chuckled at him before closing my eyes and trying to welcome sleep. However, Negan wasn't going to sleep anytime soon.

"Addy?"

"Yes," I replied still with my eyes closed.

"You're welcome."

I furrowed my eyebrows. "For what?"

"Taking you on a run."

"Oh yeah."

I had forgotten I he didn't know about me going to Alexandria.

"No, thank you?"

"Oh, thanks."

"That's better, doll."

I didn't hear Negan talk again so I thought I could rest myself, but I, once again, was proved wrong.

"If you ever get cold in the night, just wake me up and I'll come closer."

"Oh and don't worry," he added," I' ll move Lucille."

I scoffed at his comment and turned to lay on my back.  
"I'll be fine."

Sometime in the night I woke up and could hear the guards quietly conversing. I looked around and noticed everybody was asleep, someone had turned off the lantern.

I pulled the sleeping bag further up my body, trying to warm myself up. I thought about Negan's offer and in this moment it sounded like a good idea.

It was insanely cold in the room and even with the aid of a sleeping bag plus a sweatshirt, I still shivered. But I wasn't going to give in, yet.

I managed to fall back asleep but was woken what seemed only minutes later, to Negan tapping me on my shoulder.

"Six AM doll, time to roll." He zipped up his jacket and strolled outside.

I peered around me and saw everybody gathering their things and dressing back up.

I quickly got up and got on my combat shoes and rolled up my sleeping back before grabbing my pillow. I headed towards Negan's truck and threw the stuff in the bed of the truck. I leaned against the truck and silently took in the view.

The sun slowly began to rise and shined down upon the Saviors. A few of them were killing a few stray walkers that walked out from the woods, while others were scavenging around the store.

I looked at Negan and saw him conversing to on the guards that stayed on watch. The guard looked extremely tired but he kept it up for Negan.

I focused on Negan and noticed how he leaned back every time he accentuated a word. I chuckled at the view.

"Alright," Negan shouted. "Let's move." 

I hopped into the passenger seat and rested my feet on the dash. When Negan got in he placed Lucille on the dash in front of him instead of between us. 

"Scoot."

"What? Now?" 

Negan patted the middle seat. "Sit here." 

"Why?" 

"We got someone else riding with us today." 

"Why can't they just sit in the middle."

"Doll, you better stop asking questions and fucking scoot." 

I retracted my feet and slowly scooted over. When the passenger door opened, Fat Joey jumped in and I was forced to scoot even closer to Negan to where our thighs were pushed up against each other. 

_Great._

"Ain't this comfy," Negan asked as he leaned forward looking at Fat Joey.

"Yes, Negan." 

Negan smiled at him, showing his teeth, before turning on the ignition and heading back on the highway. 

I could feel my eyes start to get heavy and my head nodded every now and then as I forced myself to stay awake. 

"Tired too?" 

I glanced at Negan. "Too?"  
Negan took his eyes off the road to look at Fat Joey. 

I looked at him and saw his head rested on the window, sleeping. 

I turned back to Negan and saw he was looking back at the road. 

"We ain't stopping anytime soon, so you are allowed to sleep." 

"Okay." 

I tilted my head back and closed my eyes. 

"The fuck are you doing?" 

I opened my eyes and quickly shot my head up. Negan was looking at me with his eyebrows furrowed. 

"Sleeping like you said I could." 

"Rest your head on my shoulder." 

"Uh- I think I am okay." 

"It will be more comfortable." 

_Goddamn him. He was right._

"Fine," I muttered. I adjusted in my minimum amount space so I wasn't going to hurt my neck as I rested my head on Negan's shoulder. I could immediately smell his musky cologne. 

Faintly, Negan's heartbeat filled my ears and slowly lulled me to sleep. 

* * *

 

I felt Negan shift in his seat as he tried to get out without waking me up. I opened my eyes and sat up as he grabbed Lucille. 

"Shit girl, I was trying to be quiet."

"Well you failed," I said as I yawned.

"Obviously," Negan said with a smirk. 

I looked ahead and saw a small herd of walkers roaming on the road. 

"Do I need to help?"

Negan zipped up his jacket as he stood outside. "No, go back to sleep." 

Negan closed the door and headed to the herd with five Saviors following closely behind. 

I followed his instructions and laid my head down on his seat, feeling the warmth of his body that still lingered. As I heard Lucille quench her thirst, I once more fell back to sleep. 

* * *

 

"Shit." 

I shot up and immediately saw blood spattered on the window. 

I turned to Negan who was clenching the wheel so hard, his knuckles began to turn white. 

"Shit," he said again, only this time he didn't shout it. 

"What happened? Wait, weren't you just outside dealing with walkers?" 

"That was two hours ago, I didn't wake you up when I got back in." 

"Oh," I said quietly. "What happened?"

"I wasn't looking." Negan grabbed onto Lucille and hopped out of the truck, walking to the front of it. 

I looked in the side mirrors and saw a couple Saviors get out of the truck behind us. 

"What is it, Negan?" 

"Get back in the fucking truck," Negan shouted making his face turn red. The Saviors quickly followed orders and jumped back into the truck. 

I turned to Fat Joey and saw as he was fidgeting with his shirt. 

He saw me looking at him and quietly said,"I-I ain't a fan of Negan when he is mad."

"Who is," I muttered. I glanced at Negan and saw him examine the damage. 

I scooted over to the driver's door and opened it and hopped out. The sun beamed down on my face as I made my way to the front of the truck. 

Walker blood and brain was rammed into the front of the truck. 

"Fuck," Negan said quietly, he still hadn't noticed I was here. 

"Is it bad?" 

Negan turned his head so quickly, it might as well have come off. 

"What are you doing?"

"I thought I could help."

Negan paused for a moment, his eyes never left mine. 

"Okay." 

"W-What?" I was _not_ expecting that response at all. I was prepared to get crapped on. 

"You said you could help, so fucking help." 

"Y-yeah." I walked over to the truck and lifted up the hood, making sure it was in place. I could see brain matter scattered throughout the engine.

"Did you try starting the car," I asked as I picked up the pieces that were easy to get. 

"No." 

"Then do that." 

"Fat Joey," Negan yelled. 

"Y-yes, Negan?" 

"Start her up."

I heard Fat Joey shift in the truck and start up the truck. It took a couple tries to start up and when it did it sounded perfectly fine. 

"Rev it," I yelled, inspecting the engine as he did so. "Alright, turn it off." 

"I think it's fine Negan, you just need to clean it all out." 

"Alright, we will do that when we stop tonight." 

I was half expecting a thank you, but cmon, it's Negan. I closed the hood and wiped my blood stained hands on my shirt grey shirt. 

"Addyilyn." 

I turned around to looked at Negan who was staring at the window. 

"Yes?" 

"Get a rag from the back and clean this up." 

"Yes, sir." 

Negan walked back around and hopped back into the truck. I searched the bags and found a dirty white one at the bottom of one the bags. I cleaned as much as I could and could see out of the corner of my eye Negan staring at me the whole time through the window. Once I was satisfied it looked clean enough for Negan, I walked to the side of the truck and chucked the blood red rag in the back. 

I then turned around but I didn't move. 

Negan was in the truck and so was Fat Joey, so how was I supposed to get in? 

I walked over to the passenger side and looked at Fat Joey. "Get out." 

"Nope," I heard Negan said. 

"Then how, Negan, do you expect me to get in." 

"Get in on my side." 

I rolled my eyes and took a deep breath as I closed the door. I made my way over to Negan's side and opened the door. He did not move. 

"Are you going to get out so I can get in?" 

"Nope." Negan said without out looking at me, but I could see the corner of his mouth turn upwards. He was smirking. 

"Jesus Christ," I muttered. "So then how do you expect me to get in." 

"Find a way." 

I looked at the bed of the truck. It didn't look comfortable but it was an option to sit. However, I would much rather be inside of the truck. 

"Hurry up doll, we are burning daylight." 

I hesitated for a moment before holding onto the driver door and hoisting myself up. 

Negan looked up at me,"Good choice." 

I rolled my eyes and lifted one leg over Negan, careful not to honk the horn but not also touching Negan, which proved to be a difficult task. 

When I was just about straddling him, Negan whistled. "Look at this view, I could get this used to this, you know." 

"Well don't," I muttered, ignoring the heat between my thighs. I quickly pulled my other leg over and settled down in between the two men. 

"Alright," Negan said,"Lets roll."

* * *

 

I looked in the rearview mirror and saw the Sun almost completely out of sight. Negan had one hand on the steering wheel while the other rested on the door. We were cruising down a highway in the middle of the woods, going about 60. Fat Joey was fast asleep and I could hear small snores coming from him. 

"Where are we going exactly?"

"There's this big mall, I guess you could call it, a few days out, that has a bunch of supplies." 

"Mm."

"It's like Costco, except more." 

"Where did Simon go then?"

Negan glanced at me, smirking. "Miss your boy?"

"He's not my boy," I said, glaring at Negan. 

Negan chuckled in response before turning back to the road. 

We traveled for another ten minutes in silence before Negan broke it.

"Looks like there is a campground a couple miles ahead, we will stay there for tonight." 

"Alright," I nodded. I was tired and worn out. This is not what I meant by asking if I could go on a run. I wanted to go plunge a knife into a dead man's head but nope, I was sitting in a truck for hours at a time.

We pulled into the campground a few moments later. Everybody hauled out of the truck and scouted out the perimeter. Negan assigned four Saviors to be guards, with one standing in the back of Negan's truck. 

"Alright everybody, go the fuck to sleep," Negan said as he walked around the Saviors, resting Lucille on his shoulder. 

I decided to sleep away from the center and laid my sleeping bag and pillow next to an old rotting picnic table. I snuggled into the sleeping bag, welcoming the warm comfort. 

I closed my eyes and was about to fall asleep when I heard footsteps nearby. I thought it was one of the guards walking by but the footsteps came closer. I opened my eyes and peered up. 

Hovering over me was a tall figure, if it wasn't for that bat over his shoulder I would have thought it was a creepy Savior. 

"What you doing all the way over here doll?"

"Wanted privacy." Except at this moment, I wasn't having it. 

"Mind if I join?"

Fuck it. "Yeah sure." 

Negan left to get his sleeping bag and by the time he was back I was already falling into a deep sleep. 

"Addyilyn." I felt a nudge on my shoulder and turned around to face Negan. 

It was still night out and the lantern faintly lit up his aging face. 

"Yeah," I muttered. 

"Your shivering." 

"Well, it is pretty cold outside." 

"Let me warm you up."

"Huh?"

"Come in my sleeping bag, it's bigger than yours and its warm."

I hesitated for a moment. Another shiver went down my spine and I practically jumped out of my sleeping bag and made my way into Negan's. 

He was right, it was definitely bigger and warmer. 

I faced away from him, zipping up the sleeping bag. I could feel Negan's body press lightly against mine. I pressed back into him, causing him to wrap his arm around me and pull me even closer. 

"Negan," I moaned. 

"I like when you moan my name, but I would much rather have you screaming it." 

I smirked at him but didn't respond. As Negan and I embraced, I faded into a deep slumber. 

 


	10. Rise

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Working on a Simon x ofc, want me to publish it? I already have the first two chapters done. 
> 
> I need to get caught up on Season 8, but I did watch three episodes last night instead of sleeping so that's a start.

"Negan, Negan!" 

The gunshots rang through my ears and I abruptly sat up. What seemed like hundreds of walkers were invading our camp. 

_Fuck._

I looked around and noticed only two people haven't made it, the rest were urging people to get up. I looked down to my side and noticed Negan wasn't there. I heard a bash and looked to the back of me and saw Lucille sunk into a walkers brain. 

"God damn it," Negan yelled as he pulled out Lucille. "What the fuck happened? What happened to watch?" 

A guy that just plunged a knife into a walker's brain said,"They just snuck up on us." 

"Addilyn, get the fuck up and help." Negan yelled at me, tossing his dagger to me. 

I just noticed that I was frozen and didn't even get up. 

"Ade, grab it now!" 

I heard a groan of a walker closing in on me and I quickly grabbed Negan's dagger and plunged it into the walker that fell onto me. I could feel the blood of the walker on me. 

"Shit." I pushed off the walker and rushed to a Saviors side and kicked the walker off of him, buying him some time before I ran to help others. 

"Behind you!" A savior pointed next to me and I spun around and met face to face with a dead man walking. 

I wasn't quick enough. The walker grabbed my shoulders and went in for my neck. I used all my strength to hold him back but he was closing in regardless. 

_Bash._

Blood squirted from his head and I moved my own but that did not help, I was still covered in his blood. The walker fell to the ground. I looked up and saw Negan. A sweaty Negan with blood splattered on his face, he was loosely hanging onto Lucille who was completely drenched in blood. 

"Good?"

I nodded, I was too out of it to speak.

"We are going." 

I looked around and still saw the Saviors fighting of the herd of walkers. "B-But there are still walkers." 

"I know, we are retreating. Let's go, grab your stuff and get in the truck now." 

"Okay." I picked up the dagger that had fallen to the ground and rushed to the picnic table where my sleeping bag and shoes still sat. 

I didn't have time to put on my shoes before a few walkers limped my away. I grabbed my things and rushed to the black pick up and tossed my stuff in the bed of the truck. I hopped in and saw Negan looking at his Saviors. 

"There, they are heading back now." I looked in his direction and noticed the rest of the Saviors running away in retreat and head towards the trucks. 

Negan started up the truck and headed for the highway. 

* * *

  
"Shit." 

I glanced up from cleaning the dagger and saw our goal. We had finally reached it yet it was surrounded by hundreds of walkers. 

"I mean- did you really expect there to be no walkers?" 

Negan turned toward me, with anger in his eyes. He was mad at the walkers. He was mad at the world. He was mad at me. 

"I would think there would be a lot, but not this many. We can't do this." 

"Oh hell no." 

"Excuse?" 

Guess whos back? Back again. My courage is. 

"We did not come all this way to just go back. We can easily kill them all, we just have to section them up. Take them few at a time. I mean look-" I grabbed the dagger and hopped out of the truck and made my way over to the fence that separated us from the dead. 

I turned towards Negan and saw him still in the truck, with a bewildered look on his face. 

"Well come here," I gestured for him to get out the truck. 

He grabbed Lucille and made his way and stood next to me. 

"We can easily distract them along the fence and kill them with the knives, get the majority out of the way. And once there is enough we can actually handle, we will go in through the gate there-" I pointed down the fence towards the gate that had a chain around it. "And finish them off. There will probably be more in the store but we can open the door and let out a dozen or so at a time." 

I looked up at Negan, he was looking right at me with a smirk on his face. 

"What's your job?" 

"Um, I work in the janitorial department." 

"Jesus doll, you don't belong there." 

"I don't?"

"Fuck no, you know how to handle shit. When we get back, I am promoting you." 

"To what?" 

"You'll see." Negan winked at me before turning around to face the Saviors who were still hidden inside the truck. "Go tell them the plan." 

"What now? Why not you?" 

"Because-" Negan glanced down at me. "I said so. Now go, hurry. I want this cleared out before night." 

"Uh yes, sir." I tightened my grip on the dagger and walked over to the truck that was behind Negan's. I made my way to the driver's door and jerked open the door. 

"What do you want?" The driver looked down at me. 

"Get everyone inside this truck go to the front of Negan's." 

"We don't take orders from you." 

I narrowed my eyes. _Well shit._

Cough, cough. 

I turned to my left and saw Negan resting on the back of his truck, staring at me. "Go on, make them do what you want." 

I turned back to the driver, he hadn't even noticed Negan. 

"Get the fuck out this fucking truck right now and go fucking stand in front of Negan's right fucking now!" 

The driver laughed. "Awh you tryna be like Negan?" 

I felt Negan stand behind me and the driver instantly seized his laughter. 

"No," Negan said quietly. "She is trying to be her _own_ Negan." 

The driver gulped. "Right away Negan." He began to get out but stopped when Negan spoke. 

"Nope." 

Both the driver and myself looked at Negan in confusion. 

"I didn't give the order, did I?" 

"No sir." 

"Then don't say right away Negan. Instead, you say?" 

"Um-" The driver looked down at me. "Right away..."

"Addilyn." I wasn't surprised he didn't know my name. 

The driver quickly nodded his head. "Right away Addilyn." 

That felt good. I felt superior. I walked down to the second truck and jerked open the door with a new found confidence. Negan walked closely behind me, just in case this guy was like the other. 

"Yes?" This driver knew Negan was there and I knew he wasn't going to be a jerk. 

"Get everybody in this truck to go stand in front of Negan's. Now." 

"Yes, ma'am." 

That went surprisingly well. Negan and I walked down to the third and final truck. This driver was a woman. 

I grabbed the handle and yanked at it but it was locked. I banged on the window. "Open up." 

The woman rolled her eyes and muttered,"Fine." She pushed open the door and looked down at me. 

"What?" 

"Everybody in this truck go in front of Negan's right now." 

"Fine." The woman hopped out and as she passed me she whispered something that pissed me off. "Bitch." 

I immediately turned towards Negan, asking with my eyes what I am supposed to do. 

He just shrugged. 

"What a help you are." Negan laughed. 

I walked a few steps toward the girl who was walking towards the back of the truck. 

"Hey, you." 

The woman stopped and looked at me. "What?" 

The confidence I once had was slowly beginning to fade away. But even if shit went down, I knew Negan was there. 

"What did you just call me?" 

"A bitch." She started walking towards me. 

_Oh, fuck._

"Why?" 

The woman laughed. "Because you are one." 

She was really being a brave one right now, she knew Negan was behind me. She knew he had that bat with him. She was one brave soul. 

"Whys that?" 

"You think you can just give orders?" 

"Yes, I do think that, hell, I think you are just jealous." 

"Jealous of what?" She folded her arms. 

"That I ain't a fucking truck driver, I get to be up with the boss." 

"Yeah, you definitely are close with the boss aren't you." 

"What is that supposed to mean?" 

"It means, you just don't have a professional relationship with him. I bet you have already slept together. I am right huh? You little slut." 

I froze. The memories once again flooded me and I had to force the tears away. 

"Struck a nerve have I?" 

I didn't move, I didn't speak, I didn't breathe. She had struck a nerve and I don't know if I was strong enough to put her in her place. But I know who was. 

I looked behind my shoulder and met Negan's eyes. I pleaded with just my eyes for him to handle it. And he did. 

He sighed and walked over to us and I let out a shaky breath. 

"Now, Ade." Negan placed his free hand on my shoulder. The touch of his hand surprisingly calmed my nerves. 

"You going to take this? I know you are able to say something so say it. Or-" Negan glanced down at his dagger that I had clenched in my hands. "Do it." 

I looked up to him. Do I know what I think he means? To kill her? It does definitely fit his personality. But could I do it? 

I looked back at the woman, she did not have a drop of fear in her eyes. 

"No." I looked back up at Negan. He wasn't mad or even looked surprised. 

"Okay," he said calmly. "But why not?" 

"I can't do it." 

"But why not?" 

"Because she is a pussy that's why." I turned towards the woman who had a smirk plastered on her face. 

With an urge of rage and revenge, I lifted Negan's dagger and rammed it into the woman's head. 

I yanked it back out and almost passed out from the intensity that had taken over my body. 

"Good job doll." I glanced up at Negan saw him smiling. 

"Good job? Seriously?" 

"Yes seriously. You don't let anyone disrespect you, that's how you rise." 

I faintly nodded. In this world, he was one hundred percent correct. 

"Now get them out of the truck, we have shit to do." 

Negan turned around and walked back to where the majority of the Saviors stood waiting. 

I pulled the curtain that hung at the top of the truck and revealed a dozen Saviors. 

"Get out now. Meet me in front of Negan's truck." 

They didn't move. Probably because I wasn't Negan. 

"Fucking now or-" I lifted the dagger that was drenched in blood. "I will be using this." 

With the last comment and sight, they all hurried out of the truck, some of them even tripping. 

I smirked. 

_This is great._

When I made it to the Saviors and Negan, they were all standing in a crowd facing Negan, waiting for him to speak. 

Negan turned to me when he heard me come and had a big smirk on his face. "Go ahead." 

"Go ahead what?" 

"Tell them the plan." 

"Me?"

"Yes, you." 

I stood next to Negan, feeling almost as superior as himself. 

"Alright, every single one of you will line up along the fence, covering as much space as possible. Bait the walkers by sound and make them come to you. Kill as many as possible. Do not use your gun, if you do, well you are stupid." I heard Negan chuckle. 

"If the fence starts to fall, do not stop until it will, without a doubt go down, and retreat back to the trucks. If there is too many, we can lead them away, but if there are only a few dozen, then we will stay and fight. Got it?"

The Saviors nodded. 

"Good, let's get it on." 


End file.
